Some questions and a prayer...

Sometimes i wonder, why do i never have a PROBLEM with him? I have a problem with all my friends. Why do i never fight with him? Why do i feel so secure and complete in his friendship? And the answer pops up... Because I don't have any expectations from him. I feel he is good enough.

Then a question arises, why do I not expect anything from him? It's not wrong to expect a few things from him. My ponderance takes me to another answer... because I feel he does everything he can... He's there when I need him...

Now the question is, Why do i need him? Why do I prefer him to my other friends? Hmmm... Simple! Firstly, because I'm me when I am with him... Secondly, he likes me the way i am... and lastly, because I feel i wouldn't want anything more than talking and listening to him...

I pray to God, give me a day less to live than him, so that i wouldn't feel the pain of missing him... But if loves me more than I love him, give him one day less than me, so that he wouldn't grieve my absence...

Finding a meaning...

I don't intend to have an affair with him... Because i know it will last shorter... He'll never understand the depth with which i love him... For me, loving him is seeing him happy and not expecting anything in return...

Whenever I think of us together, I expect a much mature love from him... maybe like my parents have in between them... I see myself feeding him while he is working... I see myself crying out to him when I'm in trouble... I see myself encouraging him when he has faced failure... I see us having arguments over silly things...

The friendship we have is going so smoothly (touch wood)... that i sometimes think I'm crazy to think beyond limits... But, I didn't decide to fall for him... I just tripped...

I hope i get what's destined for me... If this is infatuation, good that I have and can have control on myself... If it's love, maybe something will brew up in the future... But, it's a no-no for an affair right now...